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I decided to univresity our appointment. All my friends are married with. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent. I told her I almost canceled our session out of pure shame.

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The first thing Bayard advised me to do was take inventory of people I know and who they know. Who are the people you sometimes see at the same parties and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? Start there.

But before I did, I asked Bayard for advice on what to say. She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee.

We met a handful of times over the years and she casually always invited me to them at a yoga class. I did exactly what Bayard advised and messaged her on Instagram.

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